You made me cry and you don't even care
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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