remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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