Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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