does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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