8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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