I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
