Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
