you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
