She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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