My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
