Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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