We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
