Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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