We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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