I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
