I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
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Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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