is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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