I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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