He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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