Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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