Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
a search helicopter?!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
