Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
