do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
