You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
