grandma shit on top of the toilet
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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