Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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