i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
