I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
