Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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