His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
