Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
