No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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