You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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