She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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