belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
