let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
