I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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