i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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