I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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