the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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