I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize