i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
