Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
