u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
