you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
