At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
God I need to hump something, right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
