Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
