I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
