Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
