And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
