We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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