Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
