you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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