you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
