i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
should my penis look like a turkey
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
