I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
