I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
