When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
