are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
