Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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