he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
